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Lucky the Parish Cat writes...

‘Send forth your Spirit, O Lord, and renew the face of the earth.’

Since my last column Fr Ross has been laughing quite loudly in the presbytery and continues to talk to himself, saying things like “at this rate the parish cat will be more popular than the parish priest,’ or ‘another card for you Lucky you are becoming a real celebrity now.’ One parishioner wrote to me with two spoof newspaper articles using the photos that Fr Ross had put of me in the newsletter, that caused much laughter in the presbytery.

Sadly, since last writing the cars and humans have made a return to the Portsmouth Road and I am no longer able to sit on the front pavement looking out across to the pub. However, I did notice from the front garden that the pub opposite has recently been redecorated and looks a lot smarter than it did. On that note the grounds around St Patrick’s are also looking a lot nicer since some of the usual human helpers have returned to do some weeding, though I do notice they keep their distance from Fr Ross when they come, as do most the humans I see walking around these days.

Fr Ross has been creating his own vegetable patch and rose garden at the back of the presbytery when he has the time and I have been helping him with my gardening skills of digging and manuring. Fr Ross does not seem to appreciate this and has been shouting out of the window at me lately or rushing into the garden clapping his hands when I start my digging. I think Fr Ross does not like my helping in the garden as he has recently put up some netting to prevent me.

I am pleased to say that there have been no more incidents of the big cat in the garden since Fr Ross scared him away, I suspect he came from the other side of the Portsmouth Road when the cars had disappeared. However, I am now being visited by two squirrels regularly and am having to police my food supply as the robins have taken to flying into the kitchen to help themselves to it and then flying back out again. They make a lot of noise when I appear, so I have to contend with robins and hedgehogs helping themselves to my food when my back is turned.

I continue to go to Mass when I am able to and can remember. Fr Ross often tells me I am a distraction during Mass. Yet the other day he said Catholics often get distracted during Mass, so why he should blame me for distracting him during the Mass I have no idea. I don’t understand Fr Ross’ reasoning at times.

During the hot days of late I sleep a lot in the shade of the garden. When I wake up from my sleeps, I go and pester Fr Ross for some food. Fr Ross is often found in different locations so I have to discover where he is. Fr Ross continues to talk on the telephone, or to the computer, or to God in Church and sometimes to himself. So he is easy to find as I listen to where his voice is coming from with my very sensitive hearing.

Fr Ross continues to have his raised orations with the computer, especially since Marion the parish secretary has disappeared, I have not seen her for weeks. Fr Ross says that Marion has gone on furlough, but I am not really sure what that means. The latest raised orations came when the Diocese emailed to say that our banking arrangements are being moved to a Commercial Online Banking system from the 5th of June.

Fr Ross also tells me that he is putting me in charge of the Covid-19 Response Plan for the reopening of our churches when the time comes. Fr Ross has been laughing a lot as he tells me this. The draft plans for reopening are very complicated and he keeps referring to Dad’s Army and that we need Captain Mainwaring in charge to sort it all out. Since we don’t have Captain Mainwaring to help us, Fr Ross has put me in charge instead.

With all these things happening as well as the continued pandemic, which does not seem to be impacting on us cats, I am reminded of that age old Catholic Prayer to the Holy Spirit:

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts and minds of Thy faithful servants and enkindle in them the fire of Thy Divine love.

Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.

And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth.

See I am a Catholic cat after all and a happy Pentecost Sunday to you all.

Lucky, the Parish Cat.

30th May 2020

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The parish is part of the Diocese of Portsmouth.

Portsmouth Roman Catholic Diocesan Trust

Registered Charity 246871.

Contact Parish Office

Marion Patient

Parish Secretary

St Patrick's House

45, Portsmouth Road


SO19 9BD

Call: 023 8044 8671


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